The Monster Food

Hearken to my tale and heed my warnings for there may come a time when you will be called upon to defend your family from monsters. This monster does not live in a closet or under the bed; it makes its home in the kitchen. It sits in the oven or refrigerator waiting for some unsuspecting victim to become curious enough to pull it from its hiding place. Tomatoes, zucchinis, breadcrumbs, and cheese make the substance of this hideous casserole. The tomatoes are sliced thickly so there is no chance of avoiding them and even the tiniest bits squirt hot juice down your throat when bitten into. The zucchinis are not much better. They have been cut into fat rounds that soak up the tomato juice and the cooking oil and transform those into a slime that they use as their only defense mechanism by coating your tongue and throat as they slip and slide around your mouth and down your throat. The breadcrumbs are the vilest members of this noisome dish. Spread thoroughly across the top they get the full brunt of the oven’s heat which transforms the finest crumb into a piece of sand-like grit that etches its existence on unsuspecting teeth. The cheese lies limply across the vegetables, it has no more ambition to make things taste good than the sloth has to work.

Beware the monster casserole that waits within your ‘fridge. Siren-like it will seduce you with bewitching scents but it will destroy your will to try new foods forever.